Chat Noir

I was so bad Wednesday.  I went to the pound on a whim to look at cats.  I wasn't hoping to take one home, but went "just to look."  But lately I've been surprisingly hard-hearted when it comes to animals, so I was quite surprised that I fell in love with a longhaired black, vivid yellow-orange eyed vixen of a six month old female kitty.  I stuck my fingers up to her cage and she quickly stuck her paws through the bars to just hold them.  But when I took her out of the cage, she didn't use her paws at all, but just happily purred and sat calmly on my lap.  This is basically what I want--a big, hairy, black marshmallow.  : )  

I may go get her tomorrow!

By the way, the photo does not nearly do her justice.  I can't yet think of a good name for her.  As a first-time cat owner, I would love all the advice I could get on owning a cat!  If I get her, I may have to frantically digest Cats for Dummies.  Please, any advice or name suggestions would be great.

What do you believe about this quote:

"Who you marry should be the easiest decision you ever make." -Sweet Home Alabama

You know how, after you've been gone for a few days, you can smell what your house actually smells like?

My room smells like happiness.

I have a guilty confession:

I ate chicken today.

I don't think I ever will do that again.

It doesn't feel like me.

(I'm vegetarian.)

On being a butterfly

I just told a friend how it's funny, well, actually kind of sad, but toward the end of summers I always start really feeling like myself again, but then school starts. I covet the day there's no more school! But I also realize it's a little scary to be out of school and move on and change things so much. I think that's why a lot of people don't make a big change after graduating, but I also think a lot of those people end up regretting it. I believe firmly that everyone needs to spread their wings at some point in their life; usually when they're young.  Your wings often grow less flexible the older you get.

School.  Sigh.  Sometimes I enjoy going to classes, if they're something I'm fascinated by.  I love meeting all kinds of different people, and have made most of the best friends of my life in college.  But the stress just eats at me.  I can't be my happiest like this.  Going to school puts me in survival mode, not thriving.  Some people may argue that you simply have to have the right mentality, and you'll thrive anywhere.  Well, maybe this is true, but I feel healthy again when summer has had its effect on me for a few months.  I hope I feel like that when I get a job someday, but I'm a little scared I won't.  It's just so much easier to be happy when there's no school.

I'm so glad it's summer.  I can't wait to feel like me again.  I've only got one more year of this bloody hell.

Dane Cook--Crying

This had me crying from laughing so hard!

This makes me happy; even happier than finishing finals today (woohoo!!!!).  In my book, gay rights are civil rights.  Period.  

*Edit*

Here are some fascinating videoclips from 60 Minutes on homosexuals and studies researching what causes someone to be gay or lesbian.

I never knew that the more brothers a guy has, the more likely he is to be gay unless he's a lefty--then he only has a 2% chance of being gay, just like firstborn sons.  Don't believe me?  Watch the clip.  My only critique is they didn't give the statistics other than the firstborn son is only 2% likely to be gay.

Clip on why gay and lesbian couples want to be married.

I left my heart on Picadilly Line

Gosh, I feel like I post more than the average bear on places I'd like to live But you see, I research ideal living situations recreationally.  Bored?  Let's find a new place to live!  Let's email friends who live there or nearby and ask them their likes and gripes!

England has captured my heart.  I've gone to such lengths that I've even researched weather and climate information, fun things to do in different places in England, where the people are said to be friendliest...  I haven't applied for jobs yet, but give me six months.  

One city I'm really interested in is Leeds.  One English friend, Fran, gave it glowing reviews.  Another lovely woman I ran across online also loved it.  I hear that it's really artsy (an absolute must), has lots of good shopping, is a music center, and the people are pretty friendly since it's northern (it's fabled that the further north you go in England, the warmer the personalities).

It is also fairly close to where a few of my English friends live.  It would be so nice to be able to just jump on a train for an hour to go see them!  

I've decided that finals make my soul excruciatingly and insidiously leak out of me, milliliter by milliliter, drop by drop...

That pretty much sums it up.

However, perhaps having this song on incessant repeat minimizes the damage.

Elton was quite the hunk back in the day, no?  

Compare that video from 1971 to a much more recent one:

It's interesting that even though I can tell the new one is much more technically accurate and Elton's voice has matured, I still much prefer the older video.  It has this raw, youthful energy that adds so much to the song.

Seeing Elton perform in Madison Square Gardens makes me totally want to move to NYC.  But that's a whole completely different post.

Tats

Here is one of the cooler tattoos I've seen for a guy.  My favorite tattoos on guys are the ones on their shoulder.  In this one if I were doing the tattoo, I wouldn't include the reddish part, I think.  I like the plain black.  (Is the red maybe from the tattoo being done recently?)  

Here's a pretty cool rose.  This is probably fairly large in real life, but if I got one like this, it would be really small.  When I went to Europe last summer I saw a woman with a tiny tattoo on her neck right below her earlobe.  It was the perfect blend of exquisite and edgy.  I think I'd get one similar to this if I ever got a tattoo there.  

I also really love a lot of tattoos that I've seen people have on their wrists.  I once heard of a girl who used to chronically cut herself on her wrists and arms.  One day, as she was about to cut herself, she realized, "I'm worth more than this."  So she had "Worth" tattooed on her wrist to remind her whenever she thought about cutting.  After that, she finally gained the strength to stop cutting herself!

I guess that when it comes down to tattoos on my own body, I'm a bit too wussy to get one, both for fear of the pain and of stretch marks eventually morphing them into goulish affairs (although this wouldn't be much of a problem on an arm or leg, I guess).  Maybe the biggest reason, however, for not getting a tattoo is I just haven't found one meaningful enough for me to wear the rest of my life.  If I found a tattoo, like the girl who found "Worth," that I loved both its meaning and aesthetic, I'd probably get it!  

Today at 5:30, Daniel passed on.  My friend thanks everyone for their loving support.

*UPDATE on Daniel*
The doctor informed my friend's family that Daniel only has few days left. This doesn't change anything--they are still very hopeful. She asks that everyone please keep praying.

Thanks, Rachel! Your Aura is Violet

Idealistic and thoughtful, you have the mind and ideas to change the world. And you have the charisma of a great leader, even if you don't always use it! The purpose of your life: saying truths that other people dare not say Famous purples include: Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., Susan B. Anthony Careers for you to try: Political Activist, Inventor, Life Coach

What Color Is Your Aura?

Three (Rather Poor) Photos of My Work

This drawing was inspired by Damien Rice's song "Elephant" ("'cause you can't paint an elephant/quite as good as she can").  I am taking an intro to drawing summer school class this summer and am really looking forward to it.  This is one of my first drawings in several years.  

Okay, I have a confession.  I call myself an artist (I genuinely consider myself one) but I am just now getting back into it very s l o w l y.  I've done very little work.  Should I even be allowed to call myself an artist?  Maybe not.  But at least I'm trying.  That's why I enrolled in the drawing class--in hopes it will give me confidence in my work and help establish creating art as a daily habit.  Who knows what next?  Art school?  The following are my work from several years ago:

Hope you enjoyed it.  : )  I aspire to someday become an artist that motivates and inspires others, simply by seeing my work, to become artists themselves, in whatever medium.  I want to capture the wonder of life.  

And If I don't post a picture of a painting in a few weeks, please nag mercilessly!  I wish I had a group of artist friends to meet in coffee shops and share and discuss work together.  That comes very close to my version of heaven. 

Update on Daniel

He has a broken pelvis and his jaw is broken in two places.  He has a fever of 104 and isn't responding to any stimuli.  He had surgery to remove some clots from his brain and had some skull removed to release pressure on his brain.  There still is very little brain activity.

Please, whoever you are, send kind thoughts and prayers for my friend's brother, Daniel.  He was in a horrible car accident.  He has little brain activity and was given last rites.  

Life is so fragile.

Check out the heart-wrenching yet fascinating video interview with Mary Mackert, a woman who escaped a life of polygamy.

(Watch the first short clip and then if you wait, you can see the full 30-minute interview with her.)

Britt is listening to love songs and wishing someone would write one for her.

I want to be less inhibited.  And to realize that I don't need anything or anyone to be madly in love with life and to experience it to its fullest.

It takes not caring so much what other people think.

It takes loving yourself.

It takes having good self-esteem.

It requires one to embrace the good and wondrous and lovely and beautiful and colorful, and to let go quickly of the bad and ugly and difficult (although difficult often yields beauty and joy).  Why do we hold on so tightly to the things that make us sad and unhappy?

The truth is, I love the way I am when I am less inhibited by useless notions of right and wrong ("Is it okay to say that?  What if they don't see it as a joke?  What if they don't like me?").  I feel like I have just chipped away a bit of the surface of it, but have yet to rid myself of the whole.

The truth is, you can never escape yourself.  No matter where you move, what job you have, what friends like you, who your family is, what you accomplish in life...though it may sound cliche, happiness starts from the inside out.  If you're not happy here and now, will you really be happier with peripheral changes?  

I think a great part of happiness comes from deeply experiencing your life; in a way giving yourself permission to enjoy the good parts uninhibited and uncensored.  Of course I'm not encouraging drug use or promiscuity.  Just being free to enjoy the simple little things that make us all glad to be alive and human.  Skipping to class on your way to finals, letting your breath catch in your throat from sight of a sunrise, taking 20 minutes to sit on your front porch in the cool of dawn simply being and listening to birds singing...

"Happiness is not a destination, but a method of life." -Burton Hills

Today was good.

I went with my soon-to-be roommate, Jessica, to ArtWalk. ArtWalk is on the first Friday of every month. Art galleries and shops downtown open their doors after hours so that people from the community can come in and see their wares and participate in a cultural event. I especially like going in the galleries. I love to imagine my work hanging in galleries someday.

I think I'm going to start on a painting tomorrow, even though there are finals and all kinds of crazy things looming.

Jessica is fun. I think she'll be good to live with.

Okay, I'm exhausted and my throat hurts and I feel like I will die if I do not immediately pass out, so that's all for tonight.

Would it be weird to you for a tattoo artist to have no tattoos?  There's this odd, if not secuestered goth, part of me that secretly wants to be a tattoo artist.  If you were getting a tattoo, would you trust a little, innocent, American pie, unpainted blondie to tattoo you?

At least I bet they get paid better than teachers!

A few other jobs that appeal right now:

1. Art professor

2. Caricature artist

3. Children's book illustrators (and maybe even writer)

4. Writer

5. Marine or rainforest biologist

6. Life coach

7. Psychic (if you can actually develop these abilities)

What are your top 8 most fascinating jobs right now?

God, sometimes I wonder if I should just cut the shit and become a career counselor, haha.  : )