It is hard working so much.  I want a day to seriously just lay on my bed, lights off and windows drawn, to just think and be still and not worry about anything.  Before that I would wake up in the early morning, walk through my neighborhood in the dawn looking at all the lovely little houses.  I'm weird.

I just feel so stressed.  And I know this will only last a few weeks, and I could just say the word and end it, but I don't know what I want.  This is a significant problem in my life at the moment--no knowing what I want.

There was an interesting article that has you answer a bunch of questions to assess what is important to you, potentially for careers.  Here's my self-portrait in 4 questions:

*What do you believe in most?  Actions speaking louder than words.  Caring.  Helping.  Compassion.  Big-heartedness.  There is still good in the world.  Love.

*What do you most value?  People, especially those who show me they care.  Genuineness.  Love.  Compassion.  Free time.  Art--having my surroundings be aesthetically pleasing.

*I can do the following well:  Show others I care.  Speak Spanish and sign language.  Be responsible.

*For a good life, I feel I need:  The love of my life.  (Yes, I said it.  Please don't think less of me that I do need someone.  I think we all need people.  Maybe need is a strong word, but I think I'd be much, much happier with my love by my side.)  Free time to do my hobbies.  A good job (one that's decently good to come to work to every day and that won't leave me worrying about what the heck I'll do if my car breaks down.  A cute little place to live that I've decorated myself and which houses several wonderful animals.  A nice location to live in.  Giving of myself to others.  Art.  

Tonight I don't feel like a very cool person.  I just feel stressed and a little upset with myself that when I'm busy like this I feel the need to put my life on hold in certain ways.  I know it will get better, but tonight is just a little rough.  I'm heading to bed.