Emo Post of the Month: Beware
I feel raw. I'm experiencing confusing emotions so strongly and I don't know what to make of it. It's not PMS, either. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I feel like I'm living in a constant state of nervous, nagging energy that won't go away. I feel lost, with no plan that appeals for the future concerning so many areas. I'm naturally a decision-maker and like to have goals I can work toward, but everything I think of lacks appeal. Decision deadlines are rapidly approaching and I have no direction. I feel like a beautiful bird with her wing feathers plucked. I feel that it's so hard to be the person I want to be. I think you could do much better than me. Yet I also feel like I shouldn't have to bend my will to suit you. I'm beautiful and wonderful and fabulous the way I am and you should appreciate it; love me for who I am.
I wish I could make all this better, but I don't know how. It's such a bad way to feel--knowing something needs fixing but you don't know what or how. I feel like I'm in a meaningless, cruel, teasing maze with no way out.
1 comment:
I can relate to so much of this. I hope we can talk about it more on the phone. I'll try to call you soon, but it might also be good if you pick up the phone to call me. I really appreciate you being such a proactive friend. I'm not sure if I know anyone else who cares so much about her friends to call and send messages of encouragement, especially from another state. I love you, Britt.
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