Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Wow, two posts in one night.  

I've noticed a couple of people saying they feel lonely lately.  I feel lonely, too.  Not a devastating loneliness, but more a "oh I wish someone was here to share this" kind of lonely.  I want to tell someone when paint from the gods has fallen and a single light dancing covers the streets in a green pathway to heaven.  I want someone to be there with me in the house just for a hug now and then.  

I felt really, really spoiled this Christmas, and overwhelmed at the number of gifts we give each other.  I think I might like it a little better if we reverted to handmade cards and a hug or phone call.  I was a little embarrassed at how many presents I got in front of him.  

Lately, I've discovered I generally dislike rich people.  It seems like middle-class to poor people are often kinder, more genuine, and less pompous.  

I think I'm falling in love with him more.  And I can't help it.  It's scary sometimes.  But also l o v e l y.

Even though I don't like most rich people, I kind of want to be rich when I grow up.  I don't like worrying about finances, and especially detest making other people worry about finances.  I hope I never have marital problems (though one could argue that a few "problems" are healthy), but I especially do not want marital problems over finances, conflicting life dreams, or infidelity.

I want to move somewhere warm, and even then get a hot tub.  : )  

I want to stop buying so much stuff.  It just clutters up your house.

I wish I was more humanitarian.  Often I feel lazy, apathetic, and distrustful of organizations that claim to give your donations to someone who really needs it.

Part of me still wants to study Spanish in-depth.  I don't know how to feel about that or what to do with it.

I should do a lot of things more or less, but I hate living by shoulds, so I don't.  I'm happy and healthy anyway.

I've had recurring nightmares about zombies ever since I watched Shaun of the Dead at least 2 weeks ago.

Maybe that's enough stream-of-consciousness writing for now.  I hope you can connect in some way.    

P.S. I'm happy

2 comments:

Martha Elaine Belden said...

i totally connect. this is how i think so much of the time :)

i think you SHOULD study spanish more. if i had even an iota of foreign language capability, i'd hone it to perfection.

i wish i liked hot tubs. but i hate them.

i've actually found myself longing for more solitude lately. perhaps that's why i want to move away... so i can finally actually be alone. but being alone all the time makes me sad, too. it's a weird paradox in my life.

i'm happy you're happy. i'm pretty happy, too :)

Cara said...

1. being in love is such a wonderful and scary thing.
2. not having to worry about money really is nice.
3. i don't like buying stuff either.
4. maybe try reading some spanish short stories or watching spanish films as a start?
5. or maybe vacation to a spanish-speaking country?
6. i'm happy you're happy.
7. i love you.
8. there's a fly in my room.