I have to confess, I have "Into the Ocean" by Blue October stuck on repeat, as I do "Calling You." I mean, one would THINK a girl would get sick of hearing about rain and oceans and motion and I thought of just your face, but after 572 times I'm still as in love as I've always been.

Things, however, that I'm not in love with

-Awkward silences. It's so psychological and just, well, awkward. We are perfectly capable of communicating and enjoying each other as human beings, but such little ideas can make a moment freeze over. Take, for example, last night. It's 1am and my friends and I (after, ahem, a few drinks) shuffle into the local equivalent of IHOP (International House of Pancakes for the uninitiated). As we're walking in, my all-time favorite junior, let's call him Drew, is exiting. Rather giddy already, I'm sure I say much too loudly, "Oh my GOSH! It's Drew!" He flashes that "I know you've been drinking but we'll pretend I don't know you know that I know" smile. We stumble over the usual phrases, and then, in a brilliant wave of charisma, I shout out, "It was great to see you! We should hang out!" Then, clearly brooding for a second, I shout, "You, know, friendly." Drew and I stand there just staring at each other for literally the amount of time it takes not only for the crickets to begin to chirp, but to develop a full out symphony. Then we mumble byes and he's gone.

-Walking around in a slightly dazed state ALL WEEK LONG. Forgetting to call people back. Forgetting to email people back. Forgetting to put your head back on just when you'd found it after the last time you lost it.

-Cleaning. (*shudders, cowering*)


Things I love

-Being more open and expressive the past few days. I think writing regularly helps you tell people what's on your mind.

-Not only having the boyfriend to lunch with Grandma, but seeing him hug her in the beginning, when he's only met her once. Did I mention he's a candidate for sainthood?

-Lake trips with friends you haven't seen for a while.

-My new friend Mandy. She just makes me smiley all over. This may be odd, but the first day in class I saw her, I immediately knew we'd be friends.

-My American Sign Language 1 class. We actually played the game "telephone" the other day. You know, where you tell someone something, and they tell the next person, and the next, and the next. I love reliving the glory days of 2nd grade.

-Babbling. And while I'm babbling, someone randomly latching onto my lip with his fingers and proceeding (oh the audacity!) to wiggle it up and down.

-Drawing. Even if it doesn't turn out perfect. Whoever said anything would be perfect clearly has a brain of mush. NOTHING IN LIFE WILL BE PERFECT. If I had really understood this from the beginning instead of learning it about 6 months ago, it would have saved me a veritable decade of angst, at least. You have to make thousands of mistakes to learn an art. Funny how life's like that, too, how you have to make thousands of mistakes to learn to live. That it all turns out okay.