Life, it's so mysteriously funny. Like watching a strange girl in the street laughing, but never knowing exactly what elicits these laughs from her.

Today and yesterday I was in a plain old miserably crabby mood. A lot of it had to do with the questions I've been having. Sometimes I just can't get the questions out of my mind and it stresses me, tainting my life for the worst. I want to develop beyond this. I know I am capable of living beyond this. But, see, this is one thing I can't reconcile is I feel like I've spent so much of my life just trying to change myself. Right now, today, I want to take the deepest breath, let go, and be who I am. Not someone else I think is better than me. I want to believe that I'm fabulous, wonderful, and amazing in so many ways by just being me. And I'm getting there.

But today turned around. I'm pretty sure it happened when Shawn came over. That is really saying something to admit that someone can pull you out of a complete bitchy funk, but he did. He must be magic.

I read in my psychology book (Exploring Psychology) several interesting tidbits. One was that people who regularly attend a religious service live longer, on average, than those who don't. This may be due to several factors, like having a strong community support, a lifestyle that does not involve as much smoking and drinking, and a lesser level of stress due to faith that a higher power is taking care of problems. It also said that people who meditate or practice concentrated prayer live longer. I can personally believe this. Whenever I meditate, I just feel healthier, calmer, and more at peace. All this talk has made me believe that I need to work on dealing more healthily with the stress in my life. Like meditating every day. Exercising regularly. Depending on people when I honestly need them. Appreciating the simple things in life.