I've noticed a couple of people saying they feel lonely lately. I feel lonely, too. Not a devastating loneliness, but more a "oh I wish someone was here to share this" kind of lonely. I want to tell someone when paint from the gods has fallen and a single light dancing covers the streets in a green pathway to heaven. I want someone to be there with me in the house just for a hug now and then.
I felt really, really spoiled this Christmas, and overwhelmed at the number of gifts we give each other. I think I might like it a little better if we reverted to handmade cards and a hug or phone call. I was a little embarrassed at how many presents I got in front of him.
Lately, I've discovered I generally dislike rich people. It seems like middle-class to poor people are often kinder, more genuine, and less pompous.
I think I'm falling in love with him more. And I can't help it. It's scary sometimes. But also l o v e l y.
Even though I don't like most rich people, I kind of want to be rich when I grow up. I don't like worrying about finances, and especially detest making other people worry about finances. I hope I never have marital problems (though one could argue that a few "problems" are healthy), but I especially do not want marital problems over finances, conflicting life dreams, or infidelity.
I want to move somewhere warm, and even then get a hot tub. : )
I want to stop buying so much stuff. It just clutters up your house.
I wish I was more humanitarian. Often I feel lazy, apathetic, and distrustful of organizations that claim to give your donations to someone who really needs it.
Part of me still wants to study Spanish in-depth. I don't know how to feel about that or what to do with it.
I should do a lot of things more or less, but I hate living by shoulds, so I don't. I'm happy and healthy anyway.
I've had recurring nightmares about zombies ever since I watched Shaun of the Dead at least 2 weeks ago.
Maybe that's enough stream-of-consciousness writing for now. I hope you can connect in some way.
P.S. I'm happy
2 comments:
i totally connect. this is how i think so much of the time :)
i think you SHOULD study spanish more. if i had even an iota of foreign language capability, i'd hone it to perfection.
i wish i liked hot tubs. but i hate them.
i've actually found myself longing for more solitude lately. perhaps that's why i want to move away... so i can finally actually be alone. but being alone all the time makes me sad, too. it's a weird paradox in my life.
i'm happy you're happy. i'm pretty happy, too :)
1. being in love is such a wonderful and scary thing.
2. not having to worry about money really is nice.
3. i don't like buying stuff either.
4. maybe try reading some spanish short stories or watching spanish films as a start?
5. or maybe vacation to a spanish-speaking country?
6. i'm happy you're happy.
7. i love you.
8. there's a fly in my room.
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