6 Weird Details of My Life

Each person who gets tagged needs to write a blog post telling 6 weird things about him/herself as well as clearly state the rules. After you state your 6 weird things, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says “you’re tagged” in their comments and tell them to read your blog for information as to what it means.

Number 1. I am slightly OCD about recycling. Call me green; I would consider it a compliment, but I MUST recycle any scrap of paper, cardboard, plastic, or aluminum that I encounter. I am not a packrat (unless you ask my dad), but pre-recycled materials tend to build up wherever I am. Whenever I have to get my recycling done, I usually just plan a party so I have to get it all out of sight before anyone sees it. It apalls me that we don't have better recycling services here in the city, as well as in the US in general. I feel that the environment has been greatly neglected especially in the past few centuries. (Don't get me started--what a soapbox!)

2. Okay, this is really weird. But when drying my hands, if one is wet and the other is dry, I have to wet the dry one before I dry them both. I didn't say there is any logic or reasoning behind this, only it just doesn't feel right to not do it, haha.

3. I am a nerd in disguise. Tell me if I'm wrong--I can usually pull off the cool exterior, but deep down I would probably rather be off writing poetry or painting or reading than doing anything that normal young adults do. I'm not a big fan of tv (especially not that Rachael Ray, blech!) and I'm always disappointed with myself when I spend vast amounts of time on the internet. I'm also shy and introverted in reality, but just a good faker at being outgoing.

4. I'm slightly deaf. Not physically, just psychologically. Sometimes I focus so hard on things that I can't even hear what people are saying. Also, I often have to ask men to repeat themselves. People have given me hearing screenings at least twice, and it shows that I can hear better than the average person. When I'm listening.

5. My boyfriend and my roommate start laughing whenever I start talking about him. I'm not sure how it all got started, but I am in love. With the works of Salvador Dalí. I don't fully understand it myself. To the average viewer, it's all freaky-weird. But his work, it speaks poetry to my eyes.

6. Speaking of slightly odd fixations, I also have a celeb crush. I never thought I would be one for having celeb crushes, I mean, why not just focus on the here and now? But this crush is not on just anyone, mind you. No Brad Pitts, Matt Damons, or pretty boys for me. My celeb crush is (You can't tell Shawn, okay?) Alton Brown. Yes, the one off of Food Network. He hosts the show "Good Eats." For a 40+ year old, he is so geeky and brainy and educated and......d r e a m y.......... Okay, maybe "dreamy" isn't quite the word I would use to describe him, but the guy just grows on you. Like a fungus. And he's freakin' hilarious. I once told a lesbian friend about this and she said, "Yeah, Britt, that is kinda creepy." But it was entertaining reading his blogs on Blogger, until some real weirdo hacked them and he took it off.

Did anyone else have a hard time only picking 6 things? Haha. Such is life. My philosophy is that everyone has weird, nerdy parts deep, deep down. Or maybe not so deep. But I think that people really do prefer goofy, fun, weird people to someone who is stiff and sterile. Blah. Give me goofiness or give me sushi, just don't be normal.

Art as Vitamins

Tonight was the start of my drawing classes. I was quite surprised to find that I left the class on cloud nine. It wasn't because my drawings, done in charcoal (for the first time!) were exquisite (they weren't). It's not that the teacher gave me more "helpful hints" than anyone else, and I'm probably the least experienced person in the class. It wasn't because I was mortified when the whole class showed their sketches to each other. It wasn't because she also, after giving criticism, said that my second drawing had really improved (I find this to be the case when someone isn't looking over my shoulder telling me what to do--something about the left and right sides of the brain clashing between the verbal left and visual right. Just read "Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain" by Betty Edwards.). It was because art is something I positively LOVE to do. I think maybe I went away from it for a while because I didn't know how I could help people with it. For some weird reason I tend to think that most things are a waste of time if they aren't directly helping someone. (By the way, when I put that sentence into words, I know it isn't true, but it's a part of my view on life.) But I've come to realize that even though my art may never save someone's life or feed the hungry or promote world peace (although it could!), it is simply something I need to do for me to be healthy. Because when all that creativity and desire for expression gets pent up inside of me, well, it ain't so pretty. So maybe art for me is like taking vitamins or exercising. It is something I almost need to do to really feel like me.

Can you relate? What to you just have to do to feel healthy that doesn't fall into the basic needs category?

Dreams

For some reason dreams have always interested me. I love to hear people's totally wild and random ones. And sometimes it's fun to speculate about what they might mean. I believe that what you dream at night is your mind trying to process things from the day. And sometimes you can work through problems by analyzing your dreams. One time a friend of mine told me the most absurdly bizarre dream, but after we talked about it she saw that it related to something she had been struggling with that week!

I don't really believe in those dream manuals that tell you what stuff in your dream symbolizes. That seems pretty phony and superstitious. Feel free to prove me wrong. But I do think it might help to pay a little more attention to dreams and think about whether they can relate to anything in your life. If you think about it, when you're asleep is probably the time that you're the most honest with yourself and your mind is most open to expression. Sometimes during the day you can supress thoughts, but it's not quite as easy to do that when you're asleep.





The human mind is so fascinating.

Today felt like a light broke through the clouds.


In so many ways I have felt lately like I am in a muddled standstill, this sense of unrest, unsettledness, questions, uncertainties... And this is very suprising because there's not much I would change about my life right now. I love my major, have the most wonderful boyfriend, live in the cutest little house with two of the sweetest girls, have plenty of family and friends who care deeply about me and actively show it...the list goes on and on.

Today I realized that most of these unsettled feelings are really just me--personal issues. When I don't have something figured out, it's all to easy to wish the world into a standstill. Yet life keeps on going. And it can be so darn frustrating.

One thing rock climbing has taught me in the past months that especially has shone through lately is that the vast majority of life is mental. Let me say that again:

The vast majority of life is mental.

If you really want something and work hard toward it, chances are, you'll get it.

I guess how the light broke through today was that at a time when I felt dry, I finally saw a little glimpse of how I'm growing, and how it is beautiful. I'm getting a little better at rock climbing. I'm getting a little better at being myself around strangers. I'm not caring so much anymore about what others think of me. I'm loving my boyfriend more every day and really can't/don't want to picture myself with anyone else (he's just such a great person!).

There is still so much improvement and growth that needs to and will take place, but sometimes it's just a fresh breath of air to see that you're at least heading in the right direction. I finally felt a little bit of peace come to rest.

I have to admit it. I have to confess.



I want to have just one shady little story about how I got "that" tattoo.

So I feel the need to confess. Vent. Whathaveyou.

I feel...afraid to be who I really am sometimes. Since you can read that sentence in so many ways, let me tell you first that it was said fairly confidently and upbeat...ly. It is just a realization at which I have arrived. Kind of like you realize that you're no good at gymnastics or doing the splits or playing water polo. It's a fact of life. Now I have to learn to deal with it. And maybe if I practice being who I really am sometimes, it will change for the better.

I feel extremely hesitant at times to share with people what I believe and do and think and feel. I would say that probably nobody knows every juicy detail of my life, beliefs, etc. Are you like this? It's not that I'm not trying to be real or genuine with my friends, it's just that I also have this secret part of myself that likes to hide. A lot. I almost feel like I'm betraying myself if I tell somebody everything. Or even a lot of things. Maybe that's a big reason why I've been called a good listener.

I also am not too sure of what I really think about a lot of things. Politics especially. When does anyone get the whole picture? I feel bad making strong opinions based upon an incomplete view of something. I feel especially uneducated, as well, when it comes to politics.

The sad part comes with this: I'm not quite sure how to change this not knowing, except maybe by thinking more about stuff. And I just plain don't have a lot of time to sit down and think about stuff right now. Should I make time? Probably. But after a long day at school/work, it's one of the last things on my list of fun stuff to do for the evening. It's so much easier to just jump on facebook or something mindless like that.

I feel kind of jammed in either way. I'm a little too lazy to actually think and research my views on different subjects, but it keeps tormenting me--this not knowing business.

Maybe the fear of being myself and sharing would decrease if I knew a little more about who I am and what I think.

Sigh. This laziness seems shallow, but it is reality for the moment.

Maybe this was a long fluffy post just about me being a little disappointed in myself.

this evening i went rollerskating for the first time in at least six months. it was for my friend's husband's 27th birthday. i won limbo & they gave me a ring pop! (do you remember those?!!) tonight it was hard for me to go for some reason, but once i got there i had such a good time. it was just pure, simple fun. it made me think that i can't wait until i teach deaf/hh elementary kids and take them to skating parties like i went to in elementary school. i had fun like i was a little kid. it brought back some old memories--us kids bebopping to Billy Ray Cyrus' "Achy Breaky Heart," playing the Hokey Pokey (which we played tonight, by the way), and that one time I had my birthday at the skating rink and my 2nd grade crush gave me a Jasmine figurine. It wasn't wrapped, it was in a plastic bag. his parents were divorced and he showed up with his dad and he wore those yellow construction worker boots.

anyway, this walk down memory lane has come to an end.


oh the good old days....